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It seems that all too often I hear of some new blog in which a witty stay-at-home mom bashes her deplorable condition as the cook, housekeeper, and caregiver for her family. When did it become hip to use self-deprecating humor to trash one’s vital role in the household (you rarely, if ever, hear dads trivializing their boring office jobs that bring home the bacon!)? And why have some of us taken such a negative view of our responsibilities? Is it because so many women grew up to believe that their destiny was ultimately some amazing career outside the home? Because society tells us that the goal of generations of feminists was to get us out of the playroom and into the boardroom? Because being a stay-at-home mom just couldn’t be truly fulfilling for educated, enlightened, modern women? How ridiculous!
Having studied at a women’s college, where feminist theory was a constant topic of conversation in my classes and the dorms, I can’t see how feminism today could be interpreted as anything other than women having choices—the option to pursue any lifestyle, including those not previously open to them (i.e. working outside of the home) or not. So then, why are so many women, especially, unable to contain their shock when I announce that I voluntarily put aside my Ivy League education, master’s degree in Education, and years of work experience to raise my own child? Am I supposed to be embarrassed and apologetic about my lifestyle, particularly in a part of the country where two-income households are the rule? I simply will not.
At a recent visit, my doctor questioned me about how I liked being a stay-at-home mom, since many of her patients (apparently) come to her with complaints about an existence that center on “bottles and diapers.” Perhaps someone should explain the true intellectual demands of motherhood. Each day, I wake up to mold this blank slate of a child into a healthy, happy human being—not without great attention on my part. For instance, I have spent innumerable hours researching the dietary needs of children my daughter’s age and negotiating adequate substitutes for her since she has a dairy allergy. Imagine: How many servings of grains does a 16-month-old need, and what does a serving look like? Should I be giving her soy milk as a substitute for cow’s milk despite recent health concerns linked to soy? How many ounces of “orange vegetables” should she be eating each week (yes, there’s a government-recommended amount), and which varieties are the most nutritious. Do these questions not require the use of my faculties?
I have also found myself referring back to many of the educational theories I studied and later implemented in my own classroom when considering how to shape my daughter’s behavior (“disciplining” her) and even when picking her toys. Why is it, then, that people were impressed with my enrollment in master’s classes addressing Plato’s and Locke’s philosophies as they apply to educating teenagers today, but some of those same people scoff at my intense interest in developing a nurturing but firm parenting style that also fosters my daughter’s inquisitive nature? Why did I receive more respect from other adults as a working woman than I do as a mother? Perhaps the only people who will truly understand and appreciate my efforts and enthusiasm are my husband and, someday, my daughter.
- Evanthia
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There were times I too was hesitant to state “I am a Stay at Home Mom.” I’m now ashamed to say I was almost embarrased at times to tell others, even stating what I did prior to being a “Stay at Home Mother”!
Being a Stay at Home Mother, just happens to be one of the most rewarding and most amazing jobs on this planet!!! When possible to stay home with your child I say “Why would you consider any other job?” Your child is your world now and you want the best for your him/her, so why wouldn’t your first job be to raise him/her?
I worked 65 hours + a week prior to having my little one. After an extended maternity leave, I decided to resign at my part time job and keep my full time job teaching. I had only 3 months until our summer vacation after all. Every day I woke up prepared for work, and said goodbye to my little one only 6 months at the time. (Some days I felt terrible guilt walking away from her, other days I felt like I needed to get out and work provided that!!) My husband was home with her in the morning and my mother in-law would come every afternoon to stay with her as he went off to work. My mother in-law would stay in our home with her until I arrived home. I was very fortunate our little one could be with a family member in our home!
After 3 months of this hectic schedule my husband thought it would be in our families best interest for me to resign from my full time job at the school and be a stay at home mother. I must say at first I was hesitant, I thought I might be loosing myself. After all I had been taught to be a strong and independent woman. Being financially independent has always been very important to me! Not working was going to change that drastically!!
There were times that not working was difficult for me!! I missed adult interaction very much!! I’m a people person. I sometimes missed buying the little extras I wanted. It isn’t always easy!! But the bond I have with my little one is the most rewarding payment in this world, no monetary compensation could compare!!!
When I saw how happy my little one was day to day being home with me I saw just how special and important being a stay at home mother was going to be!
I have now been a stay at home mother for the last 2 and a half years! I LOVE it!!! I love parenting!!! I love that I am creating memories for my little one! I love that I am able to take full credit for the little person she is becoming!!! I love when people say “You’ve done such a lovely job with her!!” She is my job and I am PROUD of it!!! I love that I am here to kiss her boo boos and soothe her when she is not feeling well. I feel blessed to be able to sacrifice other wants I may have to make her childhood important! I would truly give up anything to be here for her!
My husband is great!! He works hard to keep our family comfortable and we really don’t need anything more than what we have! We have the most important thing right here in our home we have a healthy happy little girl, we love and respect each other and objects can’t compare!!
Being a stay at home parent has also provided me the opportunity to have my sisters 2 girls stay at home with me rather than go to a day care center!! I now have a hand in caring for my nieces!!! I feel very blessed to have such an important role in my family!! These children depend on me! They learn from me and I learn how to be a more patient, loving and understanding person from them! It isn’t always easy!! I will admit there are days I could use a break!! But at the end of each day I’m the one my daughter wants to be with, I am proud of that!!!
I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!