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Kids are going back to school. The leaves are turning; pencils are on sale at Target. The neighborhood pools are closing, and it’s time for the big yellow school buses to rumble around the streets, picking up young and enthusiastic kids.
From the outside, a bus looks like a lovely way of getting kids to school. It’s convenient for parents, and it’s so old-fashioned and cute. Last week, all my friends posted pictures of their children waiting, in brand new clothes, backpacks securely resting on both shoulders, for the school bus to take them to school. So so cute!, everyone wrote.
But see, there’s a dark side to the school bus. A really dark side. If you’re a kid, once you get on, it is the one part of your school day that is completely unstructured…and the part that is completely unmonitored. Even at recess, teachers are watching. But on the bus, the one adult who is there is driving, and cannot be distracted. Therefore, the kids are thrown into a small space with no seat belts and no rules. It’s like Lord of the Flies on wheels.
What happens on the bus? Everything. Kids hide behind the seats and tell secrets, make fun of each other, torment each other, exclude each other and basically break the rules that are enforced in school and at home.
I know that for me, as a child, the bus was the worst part of my day. I hated it. I didn’t know who to sit with, who would allow me to sit with them and if I’d get through the ride unscathed or completely tormented. The irony of the bus is that of course, the kids can’t ask for help. No one sees it, so the teacher can’t do anything. It’s one kid’s word against another. So nothing gets done. The bus is ruled by the strong willed kids, by the ones who, by brute force, become the leaders.
What can be done? How can the bus become a safe space for all children? Schools are working so hard on erasing bullying, on creating safe spaces for all the children in school. But they can only work with what they see. What about the bus environment? How do we make sure our kids feel safe there too?
What do you do when your child is having a difficult time on the bus?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Love this. the other color of the school bus. so topical…
http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/29/students-suspended-for-verbally-abusing-school-bus-monitor/?smid=pl-share
oh, yes, I saw that article. Those kids were exhibiting abhorrent behavior. I felt so badly for that woman. Why do you think they behaved that way?
Some schools have student patrols, responsible older students who are chosen specifically for this role. Positive behavior programs on the bus also can be shown to have a positive effect. Doesn’t fix it all, but does help some.
I’ve never heard of that, Megan. How does it work? How do the older kids monitor? And yes, positive behavior can have a positive effect. This is a great idea.
School bus rides to and from school can become the “black hole” of a child’s school day. I, too, remember dreading the taunting that occured on the school bus as a child. I haven’t seen student monitors on buses, but there are adult monitors on many bus routes today. I’ve noticed that many parents solve the problems by supplying rides to school instead of taking the bus. I’m not at all sure this is a good solution. It is a much better idea to talk to the school administration and try to solve the problem that way. Schools are very sensitive and responsive to issues of bullying and most will work hard with you to address the problem head-on. I think it’s important to choose removal of your child from the bus as a last resort. In life, we can’t avoid all difficult situations. Teaching your child to handle it (with help and supervision from adults) teaches them inner courage and builds confidence.
You’re right; many parents just pull their kids off the bus. But unfortunately, that’s not a practical solution for all parents, and it doesn’t teach the children to handle a difficult situation. However, a tough ride on the school bus can set the stage for a bad day at school that can hinder learning and academic success. Maybe the administration and teachers can talk to the offenders and help the students come up with a solution.
I was a student patrol in elementary school. We had to go through safety and sensitivity training and write weekly reports on student behavior. But the kindergarten children also rode a separate bus so the wouldn’t be mixed in with the older students until they got used to riding the bus for a year.
Izzy recently posted..Beware of the School Bus. It’s not as Cute as you Think.
That’s not a bad idea. I’ve never heard of those monitors. Did it help?
My son does not ride the school bus but I do think it is one of those places that needs a closer look– no seatbelts, no monitors… hmm… Thanks for starting a great conversation on an often overlooked bit of school.
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It is a tough environment! I find it interesting that schools are so focused on managing behavioral expectations but don’t even think about what happens on the school bus.