There are less than ten days. Less than ten naptimes, ten bathtimes and bedtimes. Less than ten breakfasts and ten dinners, less than ten chances to hold just my son’s hand as we cross the street or walk into a store.
It took my son an hour to go to sleep last night, and he kept calling me back in his room for “snuggles!” I climbed in bed with him, (even though my back and hips were SO sore!) and let him re-tell me the story of his current favorite book, “Caps for Sale.” He loves that it makes me laugh when he recounts the silly monkey behavior in the story. We giggled together for a few minutes, and then I gave him a few stuffed animal friends to cuddle with so he could fall asleep. Eventually, his drowsiness won, and he stumbled into sleep.
And I climbed into my own bed, and wrote this post. I am beyond excited to meet my new baby. It’s going to be so awesome.
But my little boy. I don’t want to miss anything with him. I don’t want him to feel jealousy, resentment, or competition. We have our own routine that we’ve established over the last two and a half years. And with my husband being active duty military and the ten month deployment our family went through last year, I feel that my bond with my son only grew stronger.
Last week, I was sharing some of these feelings with my brother; telling him that I felt these two and a half years went by so fast; that I can’t believe how much is changing, how I’ve relished all the time I’ve had with my son, that I’ve realized there’s never enough time with your children.
“That’s good news,” he said. “If you really feel that the time has gone by so fast, it means you’ve been doing something you love–it means that these last few years you’ve been doing exactly what you were meant to be doing.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way before. He’s right. My time as a mother has been difficult at times, exhausting for sure, but a week before I had my son, I had no idea what incredible experiences, intense love, and absolute hilarity was waiting for me. If I’d known, I would have never been nervous about how my life was going to change. And now, the seasons turn again. We bring in a new life.
This second child is going to bring a new level of joy and surprise, a new personality, an unmatched bond between siblings, and as parents, we’ll feel a new wave of love for this person who’s been waiting in the wings, waiting for the perfect time to make a debut.
I am so blessed. I am so lucky to have been given the gift of motherhood, to have not one beautiful child, but two. I can’t believe it. Less than ten days.