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So, a few weeks ago, in the last month of my pregnancy, we really felt like our schedule was slacking. We had nothing to do, no plans to make, nothing to do with our time….(yeah, right!) so we thought it would be the perfect time to toilet train our 2 1/2 year old. Are you laughing yet?
Many of our friends kept telling us that boys are hard, stubborn, and aren’t interested in using the toilet until they turn three. But when my husband and I bought two boxes of diapers last month (one for our toddler and one in preparation for our newest addition), we decided that we’d at least make a gallant effort toward toilet training our oldest before we had to spend our monthly BJ’s budget on diapers.
So after Christmas, with a few new toys in our house, we armed ourselves with stickers, Matchbox cars, and a special chart, and holed up in the house for three days with our son, who was more than happy to play with all his new presents. (Actually, the timing couldn’t have worked out better!!)
And, I’m happy to report that now, after two weeks, we have a child who understands the process, has very little accidents, and is rocking the Elmo underwear!
Here’s what we learned:
1. What worked for your friends may not work for you. Even if your children are similar. Even if you both have girls, both have boys, etc. Toilet training is so unique to the child. Whereas some of my friends could put their child on the toilet every 30 minutes or so and entertain them until they just “went,” this stressed out my son and didn’t work.
2. But do find what will motivate your child. It took us forever to get our son to understand what he was supposed to do. But once he did, a Matchbox Car! A Sticker! A chance to flush the toilet! Lots of Praise! He was SO excited to do it again.
3. Some kids have to be naked (from the waist down) to care.
4. Some kids don’t want you to badger them about using the toilet. If you wait for them to initiate (after they initially understand the goal), they’ll be much more cooperative with the process.
5. It really is true: stick with it. Everyone kept telling me that once we started, we had to continue, even though there would be a few hours (or a few days) where you think your child will NEVER get this and you should throw in the towel. My husband and I almost reached this point and then, half hour later, our son totally surprised us with success.
6. After a couple of days, you can trust them to go out in public. This one TERRIFIED me. I thought about it the whole morning before we left. What should he wear? When should I take him to the bathroom? What should I bring? It was okay. He did fine.
7. Make it a team effort! My husband and I did this together, and it was awesome to have someone else with you in those first few days (even though we argued about methods!). The great thing is that when your child is successful, your spouse is there to celebrate too!
8. Trust and respect your child. This is your child’s body, and he is just a little person. He is starting to become aware of what his body can do so he deserves respect, praise, and trust.
9. One friend gave me the awesome tip to allow my son to choose his own underwear. This worked miracles, especially in the first few days when he would’ve rather worn diapers.
Do you have any toilet training tips or strategies? Or, are you on the verge of it yourself and want to share any concerns or fears?
PS: I will be taking a short break from the blog, as my due date is very close! The next time you hear from me, I’ll be the mom of two children!! So excited!!!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you!
Job well done!
Wow, trained in two weeks, that’s awesome! My son is 3 and we’ve been working on potty training for about 4 months. He had a major fear of the toilet, so we had that working against us, but we’d reward him (a few chocolate chips – my chocoholic will do *anything* for it) for even sitting on it initially. Now he’ll get a few after he goes on the potty, but he’s just really not that interested in it. If we put him on it, he’ll sometimes go, sometimes not, but I’m not going to make him sit there until he goes (the one time I tried, he told me his penis was broken). He’ll sometimes tell us when he needs to go, but it’s not consistent. And sometimes when we suggest trying to go, he’ll absolutely refuse and I don’t want to pressure him or turn it into a battle. I know it’s not going to be like this forever, but I would love to stop buying diapers for two!
Good luck with the birth!
Hi Leah!
I totally understand what you mean. I was completely against putting him on the toilet until he “went.” As I said, it stressed him out, and I could tell right away, it wasn’t going to work. So, we got him naked and every time he went, we just put him on the toilet…eventually he figured it out. It’s such a unique process to every child and such a personal process!! We definitely did rewards for just sitting in the beginning, (and I still do in public toilets!) but the rewards are slowly fizzling out. Not all days are perfect of course…it is a process! Good luck with your son!
- Sarahlynne
I agree with your friend who suggested your son pick out his own “special big-boy underpants”. That can lend some novelty to this big transition and give your son control over some aspect of it. I also believe that it is important to listen to your child’s cues. Back off if if he showing no interest or ,worse yet, seems frightened or upset about using the potty. Creating a negative association is not helpful. It is also a great idea to celebrate as a family. I remember how excited my children were to tell daddy about their success on the potty when he got home from work. We all had to participate in a big “YEAH” with clapping and all!
You’re so right, Maureen! For the longest time, my son wanted nothing to do with the toilet, and we didn’t force him. He would just say, “no,” if we asked him if he wanted to wear underwear or sit on the toilet. What actually made him more interested, (which I can’t believe I forgot to mention!) was that he had all his dolls use the toilet for about a month before he used it. He was so used to the process by that time, that it wasn’t so scary or intimidating.
good news all around.