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Good questions deserve good answers.
That’s why I can’t resist republishing a bitingly accurate advice column that a friend shared with me last week. Perhaps you’ve heard of Washington Post Style Columnist Carolyn Hax’s “Tell Me About It” Column. Maybe you’ve even read this particular response, published back in May 2007, in which a woman without children questioned whether her mommy friend really didn’t have time, or whether “the kid [was] an excuse to relax and enjoy…”
Ooh, those are fighting words!
Check out the original newspaper clipping below, or you can read the article online here:
I love my childless friends dearly, but I can tell you, this Tacoma woman would NOT make the cut! As I’ve said before, there are some things you just don’t get until you’re a parent.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this response! I have to say, even as a fairly new mom (DS just turned one) I sometimes wonder where my time went and why there isn’t more of it to give to friends. Days, even weeks seem to disappear. Thank you for reposting!
Meg, I can definitely relate. In those first few months, I remember there would be days when my husband would be getting home from work, and I’d just be getting out of the shower! He’d ask, “So, what did you do today?” And it was all I could do not to remind him that he returned home to find us alive! Thankfully, we do end up with more time as our children get out of that baby phase, but not too much
Thanks for finding and sharing this article! What a great response!! I think even dads need to read her response so they understand a day-in-the-life-of-the-stay-at-home-mom!
Staying at home with children is definitely a HUGE responsibility, which people don’t always realize. I just loved how this columnist was able to highlight all the conflicting pressures we face in an effort to raise healthy, respectful, curious kids. Glad you enjoyed this, too!
Yep, yep, yep! I’ve been looking forward to the day a few of my friends had kids so they could better understand why I became harder to get a hold of once I had my first child.
Erica {let why lead} recently posted..“I’m here.”
WOW, is this a loaded topic (even greater than the SAHM vs. working mommy cold war)?! I don’t pretend to have any real insight into this conflict, but I can say that, as a mother, I DO understand why some women without children might feel this way. I think there is so much pressure on women to have kids, be the perfect mother, wife, etc. that to consciously chose not to have a child, get married, etc can be very hard. Unless you are living in a cave without any sort of technology, societal pressure is probably going to get you. And the “safest” place to direct your anger is at a mommy (perhaps because their hands our too fall to swing at you). Perhaps all women should be looking hard at societal messages and should all be cutting each other some slack…
Or perhaps because we are all so tired that we are, e.g., using “our” instead of “are”. my bad.
I guess the solution is for women without children to find friends who don’t have children either as moms will be very busy until their kids get older.